Finally there is hope of summer here in Chicago-land. I am sitting outside in my beautiful back yard oasis as I write this. I have just planted some seeds to plant in the garden and while I still have much work to do to prepare the soil, the sun and warmth reminds me that better things are coming, as long as I plant the seeds.
The seasons remind us that change is afoot. And while we all know that winter leads to spring and spring to summer and summer to fall and on it goes, it can be hard to envision a summer amidst the dark and cold of Chicago winter.
What seeds are you planting now?
One seed I planted is my new course “Fit From Within”
This project was conceived with my dear friend Alexis on the 13 hour drive back to Albuquerque after a weekend Breathwork retreat in Joshua Tree. It arose from deep inner work and sharing our visions and a desire to collaborate. How beautiful and bountiful to have a connection that leads to growth for both parties?
I am so blessed and I am beyond grateful. The gestation period for this project was long and while the labor was arduous at times it was always joyful and profound. It garnered a feeling of alignment with purpose even though I couldn’t see it during its growth. When I was “pregnant”I certainly could not stop and pull the “baby” out to see how it was developing. Even if I could have, it wouldn’t have looked anything like the final product. We can’t slice open a rose bud and find a rose, after all. We have to nurture the rose bush and pay attention to the thorns. We have to water it and make sure it gets full sun and keep the aphids off of it so that it has a chance to develop fully.
When I first felt this course emerging in its nearly complete form, I still didn’t know if it was finished. It turns out that it doesn’t have to be finished before its born—it just has to be developed enough to thrive outside the womb. Once a baby is born there is still a lot to helping it grow and evolve.
So it is with Fit From Within.
Alexis and I are continuing to tweak it and nurture it along. We are doing some “course Corrections” base on who is in the course.
My goal for the course was to have 10 people in the first cohort and we have 13!
I was afraid at first that I would only have one person and I just kept faith and, sure as rain, it filled up. And people I have never even met are in the course! I love that. It tells me that some seeds I planted are growing.
As with gardening, there is no guarantee that the seeds will make it through the hard layers into the light, and even if they do, will they be able to survive the harsh conditions of this world? We only know if we keep trying. Not everything is meant to stay. Some things come and go for various reasons, which I like to imagine are for my learning. If I get too attached to what the seed is supposed to become then I can find myself disappointed thinking it should be different somehow. Taller, more robust, a different shade of green…….
And, there will be people who will agree with that voice. Some people told me I was doing it wrong, or that I was releasing it at the wrong time, or that people don’t want to do this type of work, or that I should add this or that, even when they really didn’t know what was in it…….
And I had a wonderful realization that people were just telling about themselves. My baby is just that; my baby. And now I am watching this baby grow into something I could never have conceived because now it is in the hands of 13 people who will be changed through it and who will touch it and mold it with their experience of it. This community that we bring our babies into is so important. We are in communion and that is a living growing, evolving dynamo that no one can predict.
I am always learning to listen. I am learning to go with the flow of my creatrix and it feels good. I know I am not for everyone and that makes it even more special to see who shows up.
My job is to be the energy I want to attract. My job is to listen to my own heart, to water the seeds of my desires, to deliver my baby when it says its ready to be born and not hold it in because someone else isn’t ready.
Make your art! Nourish your soul!
Listen to your heart. There will never be a lack of noise in the world shushing you and telling you whats wrong. And there will never be a lack of signs telling you want is right for you. The difference is just what you choose to hear.
I hope you will join the next cohort of Fit From Within!
We are growing a membership community and I can’t wait to see how it develops!